Why?

I've tried being perfect for you
being as good as her
I've tried being better than the rest
I've tried to earn your love
yet you don't see it
how my self esteem depends on you
you don't know it
But I hurt
And I cry
Just like anyone else.

I'm crying now, up in my dark room,
and I mean actually crying
not silent sobs with no tears,
The tears are pouring,
why?

Why did you have to bring that up?
Shout at me for that?
I try to be good; that hurt
I try to be perfect; that hurt
and you throw it back in my face
because i slipped up one time.

I don't think you understand just how crushed I am
I don't think any of you even had sympathy for it at the time
and now you think I should brush it off - like it never happened.

I could run away
But I don't
I could kick and scream and cause a fuss
but I don't,
I'm trying
why?

Because now I'm crying: inside and out,
and your just smiling
you don't know what you've done
your angry, why would I be sad?
What have you done?

What have you done.